Like many people, you may have entered 2022 with a laundry list of resolutions. As we near the end of January, you may have already given up on many of them. Multiple studies show that about 8% of people who make new year’s resolutions follow through all year and 80% quit by February. People who are successful at achieving their resolutions typically set realistic and measurable goals and are ready to change. Extreme, overly idealistic resolutions that you are not able or ready to keep can lead to feelings of disappointment, guilt, and not being good enough.
If you struggle with depression and anxiety or are in recovery from abuse, trauma, alcohol/drugs, and eating disorders, these all or nothing resolutions can be especially detrimental. You don’t need to try to change who you are with excessive resolutions. Everyone has unwanted life experiences and personal imperfections beyond their control. While it may seem counterintuitive, by radically accepting yourself and your reality, you can get unstuck and make positive changes.
What is Radical Acceptance and how can you practice it?
Radical Acceptance is an element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. It is a skill that can help you keep pain & discomfort from turning to suffering. Below are some tips* for learning how to accept your circumstances and the emotions attached to them while still moving toward your goals.
Practicing Radical Acceptance can be challenging. Learning to change your perspective takes time. But, once you do learn to accept your reality, you will be better equipped to cope with difficult situations and feelings, making it easier to progress toward your goals. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself grace or punishing yourself, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
Sources: lifelineconnections.org; University of Scranton; uabmedicine.org; hhs.gov; psychologytoday.com
* Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, Within Health
If you struggle with depression and anxiety or are in recovery from abuse, trauma, alcohol/drugs, and eating disorders, these all or nothing resolutions can be especially detrimental. You don’t need to try to change who you are with excessive resolutions. Everyone has unwanted life experiences and personal imperfections beyond their control. While it may seem counterintuitive, by radically accepting yourself and your reality, you can get unstuck and make positive changes.
What is Radical Acceptance and how can you practice it?
Radical Acceptance is an element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. It is a skill that can help you keep pain & discomfort from turning to suffering. Below are some tips* for learning how to accept your circumstances and the emotions attached to them while still moving toward your goals.
- Recognize what you can and cannot control: Let go of things beyond your control. Focus on what you can control, such as how you react to stressors, negative emotions, or relapses.
- Practice mindfulness: If you are in a distressing or upsetting situation, be aware of what you are feeling, acknowledge those feelings, and let them exist without judgment.
- Practice journaling: Journaling can be a good way to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and behaviors. It can also help you process unwanted or complicated emotions, particularly those related to behavior disorders, trauma, or other mental health issues.
- Create a list of coping statements: Compile a list of coping statements for radical acceptance that you can turn to whenever you are struggling (e.g. “it is what it is”). Having these on hand can help you react to painful situations in a mindful way.
- Move away from idealism: Remove the unnecessary pressure from yourself to seek perfection. Instead seek to instill mindfulness and joy into everything you do.
- Practice self-compassion: This means that you accept your mistakes, flaws, and slip ups with kindness and compassion. You acknowledge that you are a human and capable of making mistakes. If you are in recovery, you recognize that it is a lifelong process. Speak to yourself kindly, the way you would to a dear friend.
- Forgive yourself: Nothing good comes from holding onto regrets. Recognize and accept your past behaviors so that you can move toward a place of healing.
Practicing Radical Acceptance can be challenging. Learning to change your perspective takes time. But, once you do learn to accept your reality, you will be better equipped to cope with difficult situations and feelings, making it easier to progress toward your goals. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself grace or punishing yourself, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
Sources: lifelineconnections.org; University of Scranton; uabmedicine.org; hhs.gov; psychologytoday.com
* Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, Within Health
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