Every new year, many people are inspired to set resolutions to change and improve themselves. However, studies show that by the end of January only around 8% of these are following through on their resolutions. Furthermore, those people are successful because they set realistic and measurable goals that they are capable of and ready to change.
So, what do you do about the things that you can’t change, or aren’t ready to change? The wounds of abuse and trauma, a terminal diagnosis, permanent disability or chronic disease, loss of a loved one, divorce, heartbreak, a wayward child, addiction, mental illness. Are you any less worthy than the successful 8% because your problems weren't fixed with a New Year’s resolution? Absolutely not, you are worthy of love and valuable because you are human. Everyone has unwanted life experiences and personal imperfections beyond their control. While it may seem counterintuitive, by radically accepting yourself and your reality, you can find the doorway to healing and positive change.
What is Radical Acceptance and how can you practice it?
Radical Acceptance is an element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. It is a skill that can help you keep pain & discomfort from turning to suffering. Keep reading for ways to accept your circumstances and the emotions attached to them while still moving toward your goals.
Practicing Radical Acceptance can be challenging. Learning to change your perspective takes time. But, once you do learn to accept your reality, you will be better equipped to cope with difficult situations and feelings, making it easier to progress toward your goals. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself grace or punishing yourself, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
We are here to help! Call 909-985-0513 to schedule an appointment.
Sources: lifelineconnections.org; University of Scranton; uabmedicine.org; hhs.gov; psychologytoday.com
* Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, Within Health
So, what do you do about the things that you can’t change, or aren’t ready to change? The wounds of abuse and trauma, a terminal diagnosis, permanent disability or chronic disease, loss of a loved one, divorce, heartbreak, a wayward child, addiction, mental illness. Are you any less worthy than the successful 8% because your problems weren't fixed with a New Year’s resolution? Absolutely not, you are worthy of love and valuable because you are human. Everyone has unwanted life experiences and personal imperfections beyond their control. While it may seem counterintuitive, by radically accepting yourself and your reality, you can find the doorway to healing and positive change.
What is Radical Acceptance and how can you practice it?
Radical Acceptance is an element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. It is a skill that can help you keep pain & discomfort from turning to suffering. Keep reading for ways to accept your circumstances and the emotions attached to them while still moving toward your goals.
- Recognize what you can and cannot control: Let go of things beyond your control. This can be easier said than done. Start by focusing on what you can control, such as how you react to stressors, negative emotions, or relapses. One practice that has helped countless people for decades is praying the Serenity Prayer which begins with "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
- Practice mindfulness: If you are in a distressing or upsetting situation, become aware of what you are feeling, acknowledge those feelings, and let them exist without judging yourself.
- Practice journaling: Journaling can be a good way to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and behaviors. It can also help you process unwanted or complicated emotions, particularly those related to behavior disorders, trauma, or other mental health issues.
- Create a list of coping statements: Compile a list of coping statements for radical acceptance that you can turn to whenever you are struggling (e.g. “it is what it is”). Having these on hand can help you react to painful situations in a mindful way.
- Move away from idealism: Remove the unnecessary pressure from yourself to seek perfection. Instead seek to instill mindfulness and joy into everything you do.
- Practice self-compassion: This means that you accept your mistakes, flaws, and slip ups with kindness and compassion. You acknowledge that you are a human and capable of making mistakes. If you are in recovery, you recognize that it is a lifelong process. Speak to yourself kindly, the way you would to a dear friend.
- Forgive yourself: Nothing good comes from holding onto regrets. Recognize and accept your past behaviors so that you can move toward a place of healing.
Practicing Radical Acceptance can be challenging. Learning to change your perspective takes time. But, once you do learn to accept your reality, you will be better equipped to cope with difficult situations and feelings, making it easier to progress toward your goals. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself grace or punishing yourself, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
We are here to help! Call 909-985-0513 to schedule an appointment.
Sources: lifelineconnections.org; University of Scranton; uabmedicine.org; hhs.gov; psychologytoday.com
* Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, Within Health
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