Samaritan Counseling News and Inspiration

Health is much more than the absence of illness. It is a state of mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational well-being. Mental health is critical to an individual's overall health and is often overlooked. For many, seeking help for emotional and mental struggles can be difficult and men are less likely to get help. Men have been taught from a young age to be tough and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. They’re expected to “man up” and figure out their problems on their own. Yet, statistics indicate that the expectation to “man up” has detrimental consequences to men’s health. Let’s talk about the statistics and some of men’s mental health needs.

· Nearly 1 in 10 men in America experience depression and anxiety. According to Mental Health America, more than 6 million men in the U.S. experience symptoms of depression every year. More than 3 million experience an anxiety disorder.

· Men die by suicide 3.5 times more than women. When left untreated, depression can sometimes lead to suicidal ideation. One reason that men’s suicide rates may be higher is that men are far less likely to seek help. Their depression often presents as irritability and anger while they suffer in silence.

· Around 6 out of 10 men suffer at least one trauma in their lifetime. Men are more likely to experience trauma related to physical assault, combat, accidents, or witnessing injury and death. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can take weeks, months, or even years to develop after a traumatic event. PTSD can cause many symptoms that interfere with one’s daily life such as avoiding places that are a reminder of the trauma, hypervigilance or alertness to danger, nightmares, flashbacks, relationship problems, and more.

· Men are nearly twice as likely to binge drink than women. Men also have higher rates of alcohol-related deaths and hospitalizations and are more likely to have used alcohol before committing suicide.

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health issue, there is hope! We are here to help. Call us at 909-985-0513 to schedule a counseling appointment.

Sources: Mental Health America mha.org; National Association on Mental Illness nami.org

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How to Help Your Teen with Depression

5/19/2022

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A growing number of youth in the U.S. live with major depression, with 15.08% of youth experiencing a major depressive episode in the past year. The ongoing stress, fear, grief, and uncertainty of the last two years has weighed heavily on them, and many are struggling to cope emotionally. If your teen is struggling with depression, there are things you can do to help. The first step in helping your child battle depression is knowing how to recognize the warning signs.

Irritable or depressed mood
Withdrawal
Lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed
Hopelessness
Deterioration of academic success
Feeling inappropriate guilt/feelings of worthlessness
Lack of energy and motivation
Sleeping too much or too little
Eating a lot more or a lot less than usual
Talk of suicide and/or death

If your child is experiencing one or more of these symptoms, they may need professional help. You can get them help by talking to your pediatrician, taking them to a mental health professional, or contacting a crisis hotline in an emergency*. With or without professional help, you as a parent are instrumental in improving your child’s mental health. Keep reading for ways to help your child manage their depression.

Set the tone – Parents set the tone of the household. Expressing excessive worry or fear affects your children. If you’re struggling with your own stress, seek out help for yourself. It’s important to keep communicating to your child that there is hope for a better and happier future.
Provide emotional support – Ask your child how they are feeling and listen to what they have to say. Spend quality time with your child. Encourage open and honest conversations and acknowledge their internal struggles.
Encourage healthy habits – You may not be able to force your child to be physically healthy, but you can model a healthier lifestyle for them. Encourage your teen to get involved in a sport or just take daily walks with them. Try stocking your fridge with more fruits and vegetables and don’t buy junk food or drinks with a lot of refined sugar. Encourage your child to sleep regularly with a set bedtime and wake time.
Create visual reminders – Lack of motivation and difficulty concentrating are both symptoms of depression. This can make it difficult for your teen to keep up with their hygiene, daily tasks, and schoolwork. Try helping your child create a daily schedule that they can readily access. Another helpful idea is to print a monthly calendar and write deadlines for assignments on it.
Help them connect – Depression can lead to isolation. The forced isolation and loneliness due to the pandemic negatively impacted teens and many are having a hard time returning to school, their regular activities, and socializing. This can be a complicated issue because you can’t force your child to get out and make friends. But, you can model it for them by staying connected to others yourself. Talk to your teen and find out what they're interested in. Encourage them to join a club or affinity group at school, attend social events, youth group at church, or activities in the community. Allow them to have friends over to hang out or sleep over. Planning family gatherings is a good way to keep your child socializing especially if they have anxiety about making new friends. Do whatever it takes to keep your child in contact with other people. It's going to take time and patience on your part, but loneliness will not go away on its own.

To help your teen overcome depression, you must be ready to act. Don’t be afraid to reach out to their teachers, pediatrician, therapist, family, and friends and let them know what’s going on. Build a support system of people who can help your child and yourself. After all, if you don’t take action to help your child, who will?

We are here to help! Our therapists specialize in working with children, teens, and their families. Call us at 909-985-0513 to schedule an appointment.

*San Bernardino Community Crisis Response Team is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year at 909-535-1316.

Sources: National Alliance on Mental Illness, nami.org; Mental Health America, mhanational.org

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March is Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month

3/29/2022

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In 1987, President Reagan recognized March as Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month to increase “public awareness of the needs and potential of Americans with developmental disabilities” and to provide the “encouragement and opportunities they need to lead productive lives and to achieve their full potential.”

Developmental disabilities are defined as impairments in physical, learning, language, or behavior areas. “Children with disabilities remain the most excluded group [when it comes to educational opportunities], discriminated not only because of their disability but also because of lack of understanding and knowledge about its causes, implications, and stigma” (Global Partnership for Education).

In the struggle to increase educational and social opportunities for children with disabilities, their parents/caregivers are champions advocating for and securing necessary services, resources, and support. This can cause them to feel overwhelmed and ignore or minimize their own needs in the process. “In addition to experiencing high levels of chronic stress, anxiety, and depression, parents of children with disabilities are faced with the heartbreaking limitations that exist in a world where not all children are included, considered, and prioritized in the same ways” (Munoz 2017).

Every day, our Behavior Specialists work with these parents providing in-home behavior intervention services and training. They witness the extra resilience, perseverance, compassion, and resourcefulness required of these parents/caregivers and how critical their self-care is to the well-being of their families. If you or someone you love is the parent of a child with special needs, keep reading for ways you can make self-care a priority.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s more than likely you have friends and family that want to help you but may not know how. Help them by being specific about your needs. Ask a friend to pick up groceries or bring you a meal if they like to cook. Perhaps a neighbor can drop off and pick up your other children at school. If you have a friend who is good at administrative tasks have them help you with scheduling appointments, finances, or documentation for school and other providers.

Take time for yourself. Make a habit of scheduling “me” time. Even just 15 minutes a day of time to yourself can reduce stress, help you be a better parent, and prevent caregiver burnout. Take a walk, talk with a friend, curl up and read a book, do whatever it is that you enjoy and will help you relax.

Find and use respite services. Sometimes parents of children with disabilities and special needs feel pressured to do it all on their own. However, allowing a trained professional to care for your child sometimes may give both of you positive time apart. It can also help you preserve your emotional and mental resources, helping you keep up your strength in parenting.

Join a support group. Finding a support group of parents whose children face similar challenges can help you to feel like you’re not alone. Support groups provide a non-judgmental space where you can vent, share your worries, fears, grief, and anger with people who “get” you like no one else can. You may also learn about new resources or develop new strategies by hearing what other parents are doing.

Seek professional help if needed. A professional can help give you the tools to teach your child to become as independent as possible, regulate their emotions, and live to their fullest potential. You also may benefit from a counselor giving you a space to grieve, share your victories, and process your frustrations. Professional help is essential if you find yourself overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or have trouble coping and functioning.

We are here to help. Call us at 909-985-0513 to schedule a counseling appointment or to learn more about our Behavior Education And Management Services (BEAMS) program providing in-home behavior intervention services and parent training for families living with developmental disabilities.

References:

Children with disabilities (2017). Retrieved from www.globalpartenership.org/focus-areas/children-with-disabilities
Self-Care Tips for Parents of Special Needs Children (2017). Retrieved from www.goodtherapy.org

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How Healthy is Your Relationship?

2/10/2022

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Everyone deserves a healthy, loving relationship. But how do you know if your relationship is happy and healthy? How do you know what characteristics to look for in another person and how to create a strong bond? While there is no cookie-cutter mold for a healthy relationship, below are seven signs you can look for.

You are equal partners – You both have a say in the relationship. One partner doesn’t see themselves as better or more powerful in the relationship. You make decisions together and openly discuss whatever you’re dealing with, like relationship problems and sexual choices.
You have mutual respect - Partners in love think highly of each other, despite their flaws. They appreciate each other’s dignity, values, and decisions whether they agree or not. They can set boundaries about what they’re comfortable with, and those boundaries are respected.
You trust each other - Strong couples trust each other in numerous areas such as finances, parenting, and faithfulness. Predictability, dependability, and faith in one’s partner are all indicators of a trusting connection.
You communicate honestly & openly – Healthy communication requires respect and empathy. Partners must be active listeners and apply the principle of listening to understand and not listening to reply. This type of listening creates a deeper understanding of what is communicated, contributing to a healthier relationship.
You support each other – You encourage each other to keep growing and are supportive of one another’s goals. When something negative happens, you and your partner offer each other comfort and support. You also spend time apart to have some alone time, meet with friends, and pursue your own interests.
You have fun together –You and your partner enjoy each other’s company. Life isn’t always a party, but your relationship is happy and you have fun together most of the time.
You’re not afraid to speak up - Both partners can gently bring up an issue of concern, rather than communicating harshly with criticism. You can resolve conflict without feeling belittled, judged, or ignored.

Samaritan Counseling Center offers resources to help you gain the skills to build healthy relationships and mend those that need repair.

Individual counseling
Couples counseling
Classes to help survivors of Domestic Violence heal and maintain a healthy lifestyle and relationships.

We are here to help. Call us at 909-985-0513 to schedule an appointment.

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A New Year Doesn't Have to Mean a "New You"

1/20/2022

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Like many people, you may have entered 2022 with a laundry list of resolutions. As we near the end of January, you may have already given up on many of them. Multiple studies show that about 8% of people who make new year’s resolutions follow through all year and 80% quit by February. People who are successful at achieving their resolutions typically set realistic and measurable goals and are ready to change. Extreme, overly idealistic resolutions that you are not able or ready to keep can lead to feelings of disappointment, guilt, and not being good enough.

If you struggle with depression and anxiety or are in recovery from abuse, trauma, alcohol/drugs, and eating disorders, these all or nothing resolutions can be especially detrimental. You don’t need to try to change who you are with excessive resolutions. Everyone has unwanted life experiences and personal imperfections beyond their control. While it may seem counterintuitive, by radically accepting yourself and your reality, you can get unstuck and make positive changes.

What is Radical Acceptance and how can you practice it?

Radical Acceptance is an element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. It is a skill that can help you keep pain & discomfort from turning to suffering. Below are some tips* for learning how to accept your circumstances and the emotions attached to them while still moving toward your goals.

Recognize what you can and cannot control: Let go of things beyond your control. Focus on what you can control, such as how you react to stressors, negative emotions, or relapses.
Practice mindfulness: If you are in a distressing or upsetting situation, be aware of what you are feeling, acknowledge those feelings, and let them exist without judgment.
Practice journaling: Journaling can be a good way to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and behaviors. It can also help you process unwanted or complicated emotions, particularly those related to behavior disorders, trauma, or other mental health issues.
Create a list of coping statements: Compile a list of coping statements for radical acceptance that you can turn to whenever you are struggling (e.g. “it is what it is”). Having these on hand can help you react to painful situations in a mindful way.
Move away from idealism: Remove the unnecessary pressure from yourself to seek perfection. Instead seek to instill mindfulness and joy into everything you do.
Practice self-compassion: This means that you accept your mistakes, flaws, and slip ups with kindness and compassion. You acknowledge that you are a human and capable of making mistakes. If you are in recovery, you recognize that it is a lifelong process. Speak to yourself kindly, the way you would to a dear friend.
Forgive yourself: Nothing good comes from holding onto regrets. Recognize and accept your past behaviors so that you can move toward a place of healing.

Practicing Radical Acceptance can be challenging. Learning to change your perspective takes time. But, once you do learn to accept your reality, you will be better equipped to cope with difficult situations and feelings, making it easier to progress toward your goals. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself grace or punishing yourself, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.

Sources: lifelineconnections.org; University of Scranton; uabmedicine.org; hhs.gov; psychologytoday.com
* Dr. Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, Within Health

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Managing Stress & Depression During the Holidays

12/14/2021

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For most people, the holiday season is filled with celebrations, family, and friends. But, for many it is a time filled with stress, sadness, and loneliness. If you find this time of year difficult to enjoy, you are not alone.

Seasonal factors can trigger "holiday blues" such as changes in diet and routine or the inability to be with family and friends. These factors can seriously impact your mood. People who already live with a mental health condition need to take extra care of their overall health and well-being during this time (nami.org).

Below are 10 practical tips* to help manage the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays, and may even help you enjoy them more.

Acknowledge your feelings. If you are grieving or you can't be with loved ones for other reasons, realize that it's normal to feel sadness. It's OK to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events that offer support and companionship. If you're feeling stressed, try texting or calling a friend or family member to talk. Volunteering your time or doing something to help others is also a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships
Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to and be open to creating new ones. Even though your holiday plans may look different this year, you can find ways to celebrate.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Try to be understanding if others get upset or distressed when things don’t go according to plan. They may be feeling holiday stress and depression too.
Stick to a budget. Before you do your gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend and stick to it. Consider giving homemade gifts, a family gift exchange, or donating to a charity in someone’s honor.
Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, connecting with friends, and other activities. Ask for help with meal preparation and clean up.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity.
Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence may add to your stress and guilt. Try these suggestions:

Have a healthy snack before holiday parties and use portion control with sweets and drinks.
Reduce the time you spend reading news and social media.
Include regular physical activity in your daily routine.
Get plenty of sleep.
Eat healthy meals throughout the season.

Take a breather. Make some time for yourself and find an activity you enjoy. Some options include taking a walk, listening to soothing music or reading a book.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable, hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for more than 2 weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

*from mayoclinic.org

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